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Birthday Pieces Personal Profiles

The Darren Sackey

Simple.

That’s how I would describe him. He is the simplest of people, and I like simple people. We tell you what we want and how we feel – exactly how we want it and in a tone to match our feelings. If I am angry, you will be angry too. If I am in love, one story of my lover will make you want to go get married. If I dislike an action of yours, oh trust me. You will know!! I might not throw fiery darts at you this time… I might not call you daft or bubble-headed. I might even smile and laugh so hard that you will be amazed at how happy one problematic Ghanaian Girl can be. But if you know me at all; if you have even spent 24 hours hearing – hearing and not just tolerating my long talk, YOU WILL KNOW.

Vindictive.

Oh this boy can be vindictive! It would shock you. I have all the juicy stories. In fact, leave all his worst actions as comments below. Don’t worry. I approve comments before they show up. He will never know that YOU were the UReporter. He can ask you three simple questions and you’d begin to see the life you’ve spent 23 years building just crumble in a large heap. A large useless heap! You’d be so hurt that you would want to leave church and never accept any position of responsibility in your church again. And it won’t be because “you do not love God” – far from that. It will be because someone you trusted: a leader, a mentor, a brother and friend made you feel worthless. It was just a feeling, but remember that feelings are important too…

Talkative.

Do I even need to explain? I am a talkative. He is a talkative. To assess his level of talkativity, attempt to grade my activity on WhatsApp these days… since this Lockdown begun. I literally respond to every message within seconds. I annoy multiple groups with 200+ members each until their honorable administrators remove me from their page. Never mind that I already wanted to leave. I just like doing things grandly so if I am going to leave a page, it must be with a big loud bang! Even Sheldon might find it difficult to rationalize it. So yes, Your President can talk. He can talk and vibe you so much that you would believe his government has enough resources to cure COVID19. You’d believe he has 200 million USD in hand and is fully equipped to join the global war. It might not be a lie – He was just politicking… Remember however that talk is cheap my love! So Facta Non Verba.

Inspiring.

Of course he inspires you. What did you think all the talking and vindictiveness was for? It was not to simply make you cry. Cry, you will. But who cares about tears when the whole world is waiting for your manifestation? Honestly, I detest crybabies but will repeat whatever made you cry because you can be better! You can do better! Even if you believe you are accountable to no superpower, your 40-year-old self would berate your 20-year-old self for your youthful mistakes. And just because you might one day attempt requesting a favor – a favor you would not need had you actively listened to me during the COVID19Ghana School Vacation, I will keep dey-ing your top. Darren inspires people. He inspired me to boycott my class page, and he inspired me to keep up with my WhatsApp Sticker Challenge. If one person could make such an impact on me, a self-acclaimed obstinate lady, imagine what you… No. Just imagine.

Lazy.

I am putting this here because you people are too lazy! I am lazy too, but sometimes, African Children are just too much! Speak up to force your school administration to work to actively fix your problems – you won’t. Stop wasting your time chatting mindlessly with random people – you won’t. Stop the arguments on Social Media because they hardly solve the problem (they just make me realize how far the world has fallen) – you still won’t. You’d prefer to complain all day long and keep pulling down people who would rather take action and serve as the solution to our generational problems. PhD all the way! That is the only degree you are interested in, besides your silly course in Legon which does not even allow you to build your thinking capabilities. You chew your Oxford Handbook, reproduce it in your exam, get a credit, and then believe you have arrived in life. My dear lady, you have not arrived anywhere! Your African Certificate is useless if you cannot solve a problem. Think! AKA design thinking or human-centered design. Watch a TED Talk on it. Darren might not be as lazy as myself… but I am. Pretty proud of my laziness I mean.

Excellence.

Finally! This is the sum total of it all. Be like Paris Geller in the Gilmore Girls who turned water into wine just to become Student Body President. Be like Sookie St. James too – she woke up in the middle of the night in her wedding dress to fix her wedding cake because she thought salmon daffodils were not good enough as an appetizer (she’s a an excellent chef!) And be like the Professor, Sergio Marquina, who loved Lisbon so much that he was ready to destroy human lives to save her! Know your values in life and let it define every single action you take. Get your priorities straight – mine are ‘God’s glory’ and ‘my happiness’ (in that order). Once these two beings approve, I am good to go. What are your personal values? If for nothing at all, Darren works so hard to get you to mature holistically. Do not make trendy collages and post them as if that were enough. It is all vanity. Reflect. Find yourself and work on yourself. There is a lot of time in the world now… Do not waste it. Work on your book. Work on getting money. Work on your marriage. Work on your interpersonal relationships. Just work! And be excellent at it. It is entirely possible because if it must be done… Damn Right! Do it well. And do it excellently.

Yours Truly,

#AkuaPokuahWrites.

Dedicated to the Korle-Bu Presbyterian Health Fellowship Members and Alumni.

Special Mentions:

  1. IKE: It is his birthday today! Wish him for me and become an SDG Ambassador yourself.
  2. Samuel: Read his blog pieces and follow him on Social Media.
  3. PS4: He dislikes administrative work, but will do it anyways – expressively…
  4. Sefah: Buy a medical textbook for him. He’ll write you a romantic poem!
  5. Emblaze Fashions: Use the code “Pokuah” to buy your simple African Dresses.
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DISCOVERY DAY 18: ZOOM

I desire connection… Human connection.

Attempt to confirm this in 2019 and you might not have received an answer. I would have simply laughed or told you that I really needed to finish Money Heist 3 or watch the newest Ellen Pompeo failure. I would rather die than admit that some random guy — extremely undeserving of me — had broken my heart. I would keep quiet and allow you to tease me and tbh, I would smile and laugh with you until I forgot my pain… all on my own.

I am a sanguine.

I can fool for Africa. Trust me, I CAN fool for the world!! I could do this so well that the BBC would write a news article praising me for my many achievements at such a tender age. True, I would have to write that article myself and cry on about 5 people to get them to convince BBC that I was worth interviewing… But I could do it. Especially if I were bored and stuck in the house with nothing exciting to do aside torturing my parents. Aside from challenging every single “Christian act” of theirs. Besides insisting and proving from the scriptures for hours on end, that

#AkuaPokuahWrites is only human.

You cannot expect me to pass my exams and never fail… But still be proud of me when I win an award like “Most likely to start a protest”. Oh they would not necessarily be proud. After all, protest, protest, 3nna 3y33 de3n?? But I would win this award and tell Women Deliver the next moment that I have begun a successful protest in Africa… In my muddy room which houses 7 brothers and 2 pregnant sisters. My dad died of COVID19 and my mom lost her business just two days prior to the planned protest. I could narrate this so convincingly that you would — hands down! — attest to my dramatic nature. It is not deep. It never is. Never was.

I am just an apportunist.

I love to live. Have fun. Enjoy myself. Be what i want. Do what i want. To anyone and everyone. One spoken word artiste I know (whom I will probably minister with on BBC one day – he is that good) and one extremely annoying twat were so irritated that I cried. They are literally the worst. I have forgiven them. But they can metaphorically go to hell and I would be unconcerned. Who cares about friends who only see the worst in you? #AkuaPokuahFeels does not. Unless I need you of course. And need you I will. I have to pass my final MB. After all, my aim is: If in my final MB, I am given a long case which is a urological clinical case, I will be —

Nope. That was never my aim – had never been, might never be. I only had to make this my aim for two entire weeks of my life because one extremely-opinionated self-righteous young man, the LOML actually, forced a group of 12 students to recite this every morning. We hated it of course! Or not. I just disliked the concept. So I decided to rebel. I would intentionally not recite it, then quickly recite it in my head at 11.59.59AM but meekly and truthfully raise my hand as a part of those who recited it “this morning in their rooms before stepping out”. I would raise my hand and feel justified bc I didn’t need early morning recitals to pass. Granted, I have no intention of failing my final exam. Not in the least bit! But any attempt to alert this young man to this personal reality would lead to an extra 2hours of story-telling. Amazing stories mind you… but not too necessary at the time. Not necessary to me because I maybe had to do something for a church that morning which caused me to miss my daily two-year Bible plan reading, or I simply forgot! Need I go on?

I am brutally honest.

Just ask and I will tell you.

But never attempt to lie to me.

Because I will find you, and I. WILL. KILL. YOU!

This piece is dedicated to a man whose forgiveness I need to be able to sleep at night. Help me tell him please!

Special mentions:

  1. Akana the Ubuntu Ambassador. I like him too much.
  2. Zeina the fashionista. She loves her BF.
  3. All my healthy food and mango lovers