Lost. TheQuestionnaire

Eid Mubarak

Dedicated especially to all Muslims and lovers of Mohammed. Also dedicated to the friends of Allah, and to all who believe in fasting and consecration.

To those who believe in the one true God, and to those who do not believe at all. Our religious beliefs and differences don’t matter much now. The most important factor today is love – love for yourself, love for me, and love for all of humanity. So decide today what you believe. Do you love? Do you have the kind of love that stays to fight against all odds?

To those who believe in beating our bodies into submission for the greater good – the legalistic ones; and to those who believe in doing whatever seems right to make us feel good – the liberal ones. Eid Mubarak is about fasting and holiness. It is about abstinence from the most decadent of pleasures and from all forms of sin. You need not believe in Ramadan to celebrate with us. Only believe in “doing the right thing”, because that is one of the most important aspects of religious fasting. Do you believe in staying true to the right beliefs?

To those who love food above all else – above all living things and sometimes even above Allah! Also to those who have no special interest in food and its matters (from preparation to photography to eating to sharing)… these just don’t care. These ones eat only because Abraham Maslow prescribes it as an essential life activity; they basically eat to live and could easily survive in a world without food. They wouldn’t be driven to trichotillomania or need SSRIs to cope with this alternate reality. Do you eat to live? Or do you live to eat?

To all who have problems in this life. It might be real or virtual, true or false, necessary or unnecessary, mental or physical, or even spiritual! Once you have a problem, or have had a problem in the past, or will have a problem in the future, this is for you. Eid Mubarak celebrates prayer and self-reflection. These are the only sure methods of dealing with the curve balls that come your way. Don’t rush to make the lemons lemonade. They might have been thrown at you to have fun with… Possibly for you to play some lemon-and-spoon games with your siblings. In the fullness of time, you’ll realize it was all a game. So hold on and don’t quit just yet. Reach for the lifeline today and celebrate with me.

#AkuaPokuahWrites: EID MUBARAK! Do have a blessed feast!

May Allah hear your prayers and grant your heart desires. May Allah open the doors of happiness and prosperity for you and your family. May this beautiful occasion of eid give you a million and one reasons to be eternally joyful!

Happy Eid!

Special Mentions

  1. Munney kɛ Joe – my GA-speaking loves.
  2. PS4 and all who are praying hard to own a PS5.
  3. Afia and Felicia – the girly girls who can!
  4. Glory and Micheal – Ohemaa’s LOMLs in an alternate universe.
  5. Bernice & Patrick – phenomenal people who were born in May. Happy birthday🎂


It is a perfect day.

You are sitting on your bed making silly conversation and gossiping about your friends to your boyfriend. He dislikes gossiping and doesn’t want to encourage you, but who cares?!

You are making so much progress studying for the WASSCE you have spent an entire 3 years of your life preparing for – studying is hard but for the first time in your life, you are enjoying it.

You are back on track with your Bible Study Plan. You stopped a while ago because you felt the Bible was an extreme sport and the fictional God who held all the power was very unfair and autocratic – he always had to have his way.

You are friends again with the annoying little twats who call themselves your sisters. They scream and kick and throw tantrums over the smallest of hurts – so much so that your head hurts from all their talk. What can you even do? Blood remains thicker than water…

You are simply living the life! Making money, making friends, making connections – targeted connections who are one day going to sponsor your trip to the white house when Michelle Obama is president. You are receiving gifts from the best but most random of friends (Let’s gently ignore the fact that you blackmailed them into promising to buy the router and the headset and the external hard drive. They all love you someway somehow, and from time immemorial, girls have been blackmailing boys for stuff – Mother Eve got Adam to eat the forbidden fruit, and even Herodias got the head of John on a silver platter).

Simply put, your life is perfect!

Then someone whose 6-year training certifies them to confidently declare things like, “You have Cancer” or “You have 6 infections” or “Your vomiting of blood can only mean one thing – you have been sexually promiscuous”, actually declares these. The doctor said…

Never mind the fact that you have are a virgin who is waiting for Mrs Right – if the doctor says you have had sex, you probably have had it. Maybe the sweet dream that woke you up last weekend was it. See? I told you the doctor is always right. You were sexually promiscuous because though alone in your room, you managed to arouse 5 girls who have secret crushes on you – just with your poetry.

Never mind the fact that you have a Creator who keeps insisting that his stripes have healed you – the doctor is just being real. You had A and B, and medical science dictates that Symptom A and B especially in a Patient with a family history of Z and a personal history of X is the classic presentation of Generalised Anxiety Disorder. So that must be it! You do not actually fear for your future… It is simply the disease talking. COVID19 has left the entire world uncertain, but you are not allowed to be uncertain because you have always been a person who is sure of who they are and where they are going. NO! You do not get to have an identity crisis too! You are way above that.

Dealing with doctors and their persistent negativity about your future can get really hard. In their crisp white lab coats, they speak in tones so grave that their words shatter your soul itself. The things around their necks can probably predict the number of years you have to live… Their workplace is even depressing. Their hospitals are full of ill people who always look morose, and their administrative staff never smile – they probably smile a bit now but because of their face masks, it is impossible to read the message their lips are conveying to you.

Enough about these underpaid workers. Let’s move into another dimension of reality: factual truths.

The man crippled for 38 years walked! He was in his usual state – simply lamenting by the well. Myth or fact?

The smelly woman with the issue of blood never saw blood stain her undergarments again! She personally made the effort to heal herself – she touched the silk garment of one random public speaker. Myth or fact?

The blind man saw. I’m not sure of the scientific principles that led to Blind Bartimaeus losing his tag as “blind”. Did the mud-and-spit mixture connect some optic nerves? Or did it remove the congenital cataracts that had caused people to shun him? Did the simple mixture smeared on his face fix his optic centre? Or had his parents even been lying about his blindness altogether?! Fact or fact?

I need to go see one other professional this morning at Bantama. So let’s end here.

And now, today’s message:

BELIEVE! Believe in the power that has brought you this far. Believe in the superpower which began a good work in you because he ain’t done with you yet. Wake up today and smile! My love, shine on! Shine on because you have life. Breathe in some newness and appreciate the beauty all-round. Write a poem today. Sing a song. And be grateful to be alive because the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

Have a joyfully good day!


Dedicated to all 16-year-olds who dream.

Special Mentions:

  1. Joshua Atabinore, I love you too!
  2. Munney & Nii, what would I do without you?
  3. KATH. People get healed there too!
  4. Afia Baah, my greatest stabilizing support.
  5. AGCM Korle-Bu, my heartbeat.
Lifestyle Uncategorized


I told someone I was a hard girl… He laughed.

He laughed because he had seen me cry over silly things. He had seen me annoy people unnecessarily and deliberately speak the honest-to-God truth just to hurt/annoy them… It was still the truth (at least from my perspective), but it was an unnecessary truth. Honesty is my number one life principle but the truth will forever hurt by its nature. In all fairness, the truth need not hurt. #AkuaPokuahWrites can handle the truth… once you patiently explain why you believe that to be the truth. So bring it on my people! Bring it on!!

#COVID19Ghana has been the best and worst 2 months of my life.

And no, this is not my usual drama. It has been outrageously productive for me… The Lockdown has given me enough time to pursue all my other interests. The interests I had to put on hold because of school and because of what “my parents would say”. Some of these interests are desires I did not even know existed in the deepest recesses of my soul. But at least I have learnt that now that they are there. They lie dormant… quietly waiting for the perfect person with the ability to charm me enough to make me walk on water with him and for him.

My worst? It has been my worst because I have been so volatile! I cry at the littlest of offences and I squeal at the most minute acts of kindness. Tell me how pretty I am and I’ll probably burst out in song for you. I keep saying this is not the real me… But maybe, just maybe, I have always been like this. It might all have been kept under wraps to please certain people or groups of people.

But no more because I GIVE UP.

I wrote a heartfelt piece for the Samira Bawumia Writing contest titled I give up. Every word was true. But I was later told that my script was not a winning script. I tried to alter it but my heart was no longer in it. One of my newest friends asked me today why I didn’t come to him for inspiration. Sugarbabe, I love you too tbh. But I need to solve my problems by myself sometimes… I need to build my website and gain so much traffic that I will need to hire experts to manage it for me. I might be rich from this. I might also gain nothing. But at least I would have accomplished what I set out to do.

I am tired of breaking promises too.

I told a friend I would help him with a report by 9pm today. I promised my 200 fans that I would write a piece relating to 10/05/2020’s Mothers’ Day Celebration. Time is up already. I have no inspiration again because idk… I really have no excuse. But I set out to be very productive and happy today. I did all the right things. I said only the good things. I spoke only when spoken to. I ate when told to eat. I even preached what I was told to preach. But here I am… When all is said and done… still unhappy. Unhappy not for myself, but unhappy for the world I live in.

I am unhappy tonight.

I will be happy again in a few hours though. But that is irrelevant. The important matter is that I am unhappy as I type. Feelings are not everything, but for COVID19, my feelings are everything! Take it or leave it. Life has always been full of choices. I might be ill. I might be normal. I might even be actually my best self… But it is all useless. All is vanity. What at all would I have gained if i gained the entire world but still lost my soul? Tell me. Will a thousand followers buy me food? Will these same followers who troll prominent people keep me warm at night? Will they even notice the fears behind my smile? And the pain underlying my acts of kindness?

My heart bleeds for you.

My heart bleeds for Ghana. And Africa. And the world. And everyone who is not living their best life during this pandemic. My life will never be the same after this… I have experienced and learnt too much that it would be utterly sinful to live as if I were my preCOVID19 self. Fellow Ghanaians, I just hope that we all learn our lessons and come out better versions of ourselves. I pray that from the ashes, we will rise! Like Fawkes the Phoenix, we will sing a eulogy so bittersweet that anyone who hears us will beat their chests and throw up their hands in despair… They will despair over the meaning of life itself. They will despair over science and religion and purpose and love and hate.

Have a goodnight my lovelies.

Just meditate before you sleep.

With bittersweet love,

Your Cheerleader.

Dedicated to all the unnecessarily kind people I know. Happy Mothers’ day to you! And to me. Because we are cherished and loved!!

Birthday Pieces Personal Profiles

The Darren Sackey


That’s how I would describe him. He is the simplest of people, and I like simple people. We tell you what we want and how we feel – exactly how we want it and in a tone to match our feelings. If I am angry, you will be angry too. If I am in love, one story of my lover will make you want to go get married. If I dislike an action of yours, oh trust me. You will know!! I might not throw fiery darts at you this time… I might not call you daft or bubble-headed. I might even smile and laugh so hard that you will be amazed at how happy one problematic Ghanaian Girl can be. But if you know me at all; if you have even spent 24 hours hearing – hearing and not just tolerating my long talk, YOU WILL KNOW.


Oh this boy can be vindictive! It would shock you. I have all the juicy stories. In fact, leave all his worst actions as comments below. Don’t worry. I approve comments before they show up. He will never know that YOU were the UReporter. He can ask you three simple questions and you’d begin to see the life you’ve spent 23 years building just crumble in a large heap. A large useless heap! You’d be so hurt that you would want to leave church and never accept any position of responsibility in your church again. And it won’t be because “you do not love God” – far from that. It will be because someone you trusted: a leader, a mentor, a brother and friend made you feel worthless. It was just a feeling, but remember that feelings are important too…


Do I even need to explain? I am a talkative. He is a talkative. To assess his level of talkativity, attempt to grade my activity on WhatsApp these days… since this Lockdown begun. I literally respond to every message within seconds. I annoy multiple groups with 200+ members each until their honorable administrators remove me from their page. Never mind that I already wanted to leave. I just like doing things grandly so if I am going to leave a page, it must be with a big loud bang! Even Sheldon might find it difficult to rationalize it. So yes, Your President can talk. He can talk and vibe you so much that you would believe his government has enough resources to cure COVID19. You’d believe he has 200 million USD in hand and is fully equipped to join the global war. It might not be a lie – He was just politicking… Remember however that talk is cheap my love! So Facta Non Verba.


Of course he inspires you. What did you think all the talking and vindictiveness was for? It was not to simply make you cry. Cry, you will. But who cares about tears when the whole world is waiting for your manifestation? Honestly, I detest crybabies but will repeat whatever made you cry because you can be better! You can do better! Even if you believe you are accountable to no superpower, your 40-year-old self would berate your 20-year-old self for your youthful mistakes. And just because you might one day attempt requesting a favor – a favor you would not need had you actively listened to me during the COVID19Ghana School Vacation, I will keep dey-ing your top. Darren inspires people. He inspired me to boycott my class page, and he inspired me to keep up with my WhatsApp Sticker Challenge. If one person could make such an impact on me, a self-acclaimed obstinate lady, imagine what you… No. Just imagine.


I am putting this here because you people are too lazy! I am lazy too, but sometimes, African Children are just too much! Speak up to force your school administration to work to actively fix your problems – you won’t. Stop wasting your time chatting mindlessly with random people – you won’t. Stop the arguments on Social Media because they hardly solve the problem (they just make me realize how far the world has fallen) – you still won’t. You’d prefer to complain all day long and keep pulling down people who would rather take action and serve as the solution to our generational problems. PhD all the way! That is the only degree you are interested in, besides your silly course in Legon which does not even allow you to build your thinking capabilities. You chew your Oxford Handbook, reproduce it in your exam, get a credit, and then believe you have arrived in life. My dear lady, you have not arrived anywhere! Your African Certificate is useless if you cannot solve a problem. Think! AKA design thinking or human-centered design. Watch a TED Talk on it. Darren might not be as lazy as myself… but I am. Pretty proud of my laziness I mean.


Finally! This is the sum total of it all. Be like Paris Geller in the Gilmore Girls who turned water into wine just to become Student Body President. Be like Sookie St. James too – she woke up in the middle of the night in her wedding dress to fix her wedding cake because she thought salmon daffodils were not good enough as an appetizer (she’s a an excellent chef!) And be like the Professor, Sergio Marquina, who loved Lisbon so much that he was ready to destroy human lives to save her! Know your values in life and let it define every single action you take. Get your priorities straight – mine are ‘God’s glory’ and ‘my happiness’ (in that order). Once these two beings approve, I am good to go. What are your personal values? If for nothing at all, Darren works so hard to get you to mature holistically. Do not make trendy collages and post them as if that were enough. It is all vanity. Reflect. Find yourself and work on yourself. There is a lot of time in the world now… Do not waste it. Work on your book. Work on getting money. Work on your marriage. Work on your interpersonal relationships. Just work! And be excellent at it. It is entirely possible because if it must be done… Damn Right! Do it well. And do it excellently.

Yours Truly,


Dedicated to the Korle-Bu Presbyterian Health Fellowship Members and Alumni.

Special Mentions:

  1. IKE: It is his birthday today! Wish him for me and become an SDG Ambassador yourself.
  2. Samuel: Read his blog pieces and follow him on Social Media.
  3. PS4: He dislikes administrative work, but will do it anyways – expressively…
  4. Sefah: Buy a medical textbook for him. He’ll write you a romantic poem!
  5. Emblaze Fashions: Use the code “Pokuah” to buy your simple African Dresses.