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HOME

Home is where the heart is.

Home is where I feel safe, loved and important.

I easily feel at home and so act as if the world revolves around me. Always.

You always find me. You find me when I stray in search for greener pastures. Like the patient father you are, you hold me and tell me sweet lies when I fall so bad that it tears up my insides and destroys my soul. When all the lions bare their teeth at me and tug at pieces of my soul in an attempt to make me bleed. They tried to bury me by driving my head between my knees just to uproot my demon of rebellion. You unfortunately, still manage to find me! And your timing has never been better!

You are my home.

You knew me before you saw me. You heard me speak before you even spoke to me. You cared for me before i even had an inkling as to who you were. I had heard of you alright… Jesus this, Jesus that, Jesus saves. I knew all this but had never spent a second of my life considering how much my actions affected you. Never. But you still loved me. I will stray 3000 more times but you will find me 3001 times – that I can bet my entire life savings on.

You are my home.

I look at you and wonder. What at all did i see in you? In fact, what am I seeing? Nothing extraordinary. There is nothing beautiful or majestic about your appearance – nothing to attract me to you. Had I met you in a different state at a different time, I would never have noticed you. I might have despised you and not even learnt your name. You would have considered me rude and because I don’t give an effing damn about your feelings, I wouldn’t care. We cannot please everyone, can we?

You are my home.

I am self-opinionated. I am viciously manipulative and will fight tooth and nail to get what I want. I even begun World War 4 just to keep you safe from their prying eyes. I was an endeavour as useless as WW3; retaliating and tweeting vengefully about nuclear weapons never solved anyone’s problems. Across continents, countries and presidents – back and forths are simply a waste of time! Solve Ruth’s problem and all will be perfect again. You my beautiful mind, will simply not listen to me. You just keep annoying me until I need to strangle you to breathe well. You fight me on every matter and non-metaphorically cut my soul into pieces every second. I have no need for the likes of you and your species. I would rather remain a 50 year old spinster who lives alone with her white cat!

But you are my home.

You were my home 19days ago and you are my home today. You were my home before I was conceived and you will still be my home in 19more days. I would like you to be my home forever, but who at all am I? What have I done to deserve a being as magnificent as you? I will never in a million years deserve you. I would even not recommend myself to another me!

But you are my home.

I love staying at home. In my room, on my bed, with the fluffiest and most comfortable duvet cocooning me. You my love, will not even spend 40 more minutes of your precious sleep time with me because I talk too much. I will forever keep talking, and you will unsurprisingly keep listening. I care too much to allow you to waste your life. Afterall, it still is my greatest purpose to bring the entire world to Him.

So I will forge on and advance. I will take the blind leap and keep praying with all my heart that my glass remains half-full.

Because you are my home.

Be my home, now and forever!

With Love,

Your Sweet Advocate.

Dedicated to all the independent minds I know. To those who never say never.

Special Mentions:

  1. Munney kɛ Naa.
  2. Nii Obuobisa, the second Nii in my life.
  3. My homes.

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ATTENTION!

At ease.

Attention.

At ease.

Attention.

At ease.

Attention.

At eeeeeeeaaaaaaaassssssssseeeeeee……

This chant ran through my head and rang in my ears. My soul cried out and my heart gently whispered it prayerfully… A prayer to the man I loved. A prayer to the one who promised to never lie to me… The man who could break me within 2 days of unintentional breakage. The man in whom I believed.

Trust not in man and lean not on your own understanding – they told me.

You can trust me, for I would never lie to you – He said.

Never trust men! All they want is your body.

I look at more. I look at the heart. He again said.

I call it non-verbal communication… You would be right to also call it divine. And spiritual. And God-sent. And a forever kind of relationship.

I disagree with the term “forever”. Nothing good lasts forever.

It has always been a matter of perspective. Are you willing to fight for what you want? Are you willing to dream big and forget about everyone else but HIm?

I say I AM!!

I am not THE I am. But by jove! I want to be like him. I want to have him near me all the time, whether at home or away.

I need to hear him whisper sweet nothings… I want to feel his breath on my bellybutton as he says, “My daughter! My daughter!”

And I would gladly respond:

Here I am, my Lord. Choose me. Use me. And send me. For I will forever & always be yours.

Jesus Saves.

Dedicated to all JesusLovers who desire more. Who want more. And who are destined for more…

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DISCOVERY DAY 18: ZOOM

I desire connection… Human connection.

Attempt to confirm this in 2019 and you might not have received an answer. I would have simply laughed or told you that I really needed to finish Money Heist 3 or watch the newest Ellen Pompeo failure. I would rather die than admit that some random guy — extremely undeserving of me — had broken my heart. I would keep quiet and allow you to tease me and tbh, I would smile and laugh with you until I forgot my pain… all on my own.

I am a sanguine.

I can fool for Africa. Trust me, I CAN fool for the world!! I could do this so well that the BBC would write a news article praising me for my many achievements at such a tender age. True, I would have to write that article myself and cry on about 5 people to get them to convince BBC that I was worth interviewing… But I could do it. Especially if I were bored and stuck in the house with nothing exciting to do aside torturing my parents. Aside from challenging every single “Christian act” of theirs. Besides insisting and proving from the scriptures for hours on end, that

#AkuaPokuahWrites is only human.

You cannot expect me to pass my exams and never fail… But still be proud of me when I win an award like “Most likely to start a protest”. Oh they would not necessarily be proud. After all, protest, protest, 3nna 3y33 de3n?? But I would win this award and tell Women Deliver the next moment that I have begun a successful protest in Africa… In my muddy room which houses 7 brothers and 2 pregnant sisters. My dad died of COVID19 and my mom lost her business just two days prior to the planned protest. I could narrate this so convincingly that you would — hands down! — attest to my dramatic nature. It is not deep. It never is. Never was.

I am just an apportunist.

I love to live. Have fun. Enjoy myself. Be what i want. Do what i want. To anyone and everyone. One spoken word artiste I know (whom I will probably minister with on BBC one day – he is that good) and one extremely annoying twat were so irritated that I cried. They are literally the worst. I have forgiven them. But they can metaphorically go to hell and I would be unconcerned. Who cares about friends who only see the worst in you? #AkuaPokuahFeels does not. Unless I need you of course. And need you I will. I have to pass my final MB. After all, my aim is: If in my final MB, I am given a long case which is a urological clinical case, I will be —

Nope. That was never my aim – had never been, might never be. I only had to make this my aim for two entire weeks of my life because one extremely-opinionated self-righteous young man, the LOML actually, forced a group of 12 students to recite this every morning. We hated it of course! Or not. I just disliked the concept. So I decided to rebel. I would intentionally not recite it, then quickly recite it in my head at 11.59.59AM but meekly and truthfully raise my hand as a part of those who recited it “this morning in their rooms before stepping out”. I would raise my hand and feel justified bc I didn’t need early morning recitals to pass. Granted, I have no intention of failing my final exam. Not in the least bit! But any attempt to alert this young man to this personal reality would lead to an extra 2hours of story-telling. Amazing stories mind you… but not too necessary at the time. Not necessary to me because I maybe had to do something for a church that morning which caused me to miss my daily two-year Bible plan reading, or I simply forgot! Need I go on?

I am brutally honest.

Just ask and I will tell you.

But never attempt to lie to me.

Because I will find you, and I. WILL. KILL. YOU!

This piece is dedicated to a man whose forgiveness I need to be able to sleep at night. Help me tell him please!

Special mentions:

  1. Akana the Ubuntu Ambassador. I like him too much.
  2. Zeina the fashionista. She loves her BF.
  3. All my healthy food and mango lovers
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Playing with fire…

Never play with fire. Ever.

Mistakes are okay if you had no premonition. They are okay if you just went about doing good. They could even be welcomed if you set out to be better.

They are never okay if you never intended to get hurt. If you planned the journey so well before execution, and were just prototyping. They will never be okay if you, knowing yourself and the kind of person you are, warned the chef to not begin the meal.

Mistakes will happen. Always.

There will happen because we move before we think. We leap before we finish praying for courage. We joke when we should be serious. We talk before we analyse our thoughts.

They will happen because we are human. Because we suffer from unnecessary human problems like PMS. And PMDD. And mood swings. And girly-ness.

They will happen because we choose to believe. We choose to believe in the best of humans. We choose to be optimistic and see the glass as perpetually half-full. We choose to “allow our curiosities to be tickled”. We choose to just forge on. Against all odds. Against all stop signs. Against all warnings – earthly and ethereal. We choose to believe in finding our Derek. And forgetting our Burke.

We choose love over hate. We choose love over bitterness. We choose love over messiness. And guilt. And indecision.

I wished with all my heart that I could say that I would never do this again. I wish with all my soul that this will be the last of its kind.

I believe that we learn everyday. So would I change anything if I were to start all over again? Would I have gone against my “why not” instinct and marched on? Would I have ignored my sympathetic warnings and thrown caution to the wind? NEVER! It was good while it lasted.

16 straight days. The best 16 days of your life is not a waste, is it? At least you recognised it early enough and pulled all the stop signs immediately you couldn’t handle it. Immediately you realised that you were headed for disaster. For Pain. Tears. Hurt. Sorrow. Depression and Death. At least, you had 5 more days before it became an agonizing habit.

A bestie from Class 6 would call it, “Akoma mu awer3ho)”. This is all it is. This is all it will ever be. Because though I am wounded, I am a warrior. The butterflies will eventually settle. I will eventually sleep. I will eventually rise to deliver for good. And be the best version of myself. Eventually.

Piece dedicated to Sonia. The grey to my yang.

Special mentions: Aaron & Felicia. My two favorite naruto lovers!

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Insomnia

I haven’t slept. I don’t sleep. I hardly do.

Especially when I’m excited about an adventure. Relax you’ll say… There’s more sleep after death. But really, is there?

Will we not be too busy staring into the eyes of God and admiring his dauntingly powerful self? Will we even remember that we lived, and we loved? Will we recognise the Barnabases we spent sleepless nights over?

I need to live. I need to move. I need to take action. Just to be able to sleep, breathe, move and have my being. Is it an exciting life? I wouldn’t trade it for any other… Except a perhaps more peaceful one. Peace in the most significant areas.

So sleep I will. When I’m tired of being excited. The tiredness is looming… And I don’t like it. But SLEEP? I definitely will!!!

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Nature vs Nurture

I fell in love. So hard and so bad. So quickly and so fast. I never thought I would. I don’t even think I ever will. But I did. And it was almost always rosy…

They say we’ll all eventually conform. That we’ll be our own truest nature. Nature over nurture anyday. I’m not so sure. I’ll choose nurture. All day, any day. And I’m not sure I’d regret it.

I fell in love. And it meant the world to me. I keep falling in love. With different things. Different people. Different policies. Different principles. Different problems.

Will I ever change? I’m not sure I ever will. But no. Nature never wins over nurture… Not so long as (😂KNUST JHS😂) Our Lord & God reigns!!!!!

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Can I keep Quiet?

#Reflections #MentalHealth

It is very important to know who you are.

ALWAYS know yourself, and rationalise EVERYTHING you do to yourself. Know your reasons. Know your whys and why nots. And know your safe spaces. Know who will listen to you when you are in trouble, know who will not. Know whose advice you can trust and know whose advice you cannot.

I just embarked on a discovery journey… (graciously made possible by #TheLockdown).

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INSPIRATION

She is not always inspired. Occasionally, she gets a rock-solid bullet of inspiration from mundane activities.

UNRETIRED by Baba Mahama

NETFLIX’s movie series.

GREY’S ANATOMY. Because Doctors Rock!!

POEMS.

MAYA ANGELOU’s PHENOMENAL WOMAN

WGHS because she found Maya there.

GOD. Because his word is true. Always.

Family. Because they are human. They have their faults, but they have their strengths too. And she loves them so much!

GIRL RISING stories. Because they talk about people who overcame huge difficulties to get to where they are.

WOMEN DELIVER because they achieve great things. Things she would like to do someday.

LEADERSHIP stories.

GHANA because she is proudly Ghanaian.

TBC…

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To Lois, UG.

Because she inspired me…

Young girl in that remote corner who is hardly ever seen. Today Lois tells you: You can do it. You only need to dream, then act! It. Is. Always. Possible.

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Dreams

To the African Girl who believes she can.

I never dream. Ask me in the morning and I’ll tell you that I never dream insignificant dreams. Yesterday that is what I told someone. Today, I told someone else.

But it was all untrue. I could only sleep because I had left all my problems in the hands of my creator…

TBC.